Amidst these hard times, I think it’s important that we frequently revisit classic moments from The Simpsons…especially those that speak to the issues of the day.

A scene from The Trouble with Trillions (1998)

Castro: Comrads, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to abandon communism!
All: (sighs)
Castro: I know, I know, I know…but we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn’t fly! I’ll call Washington and tell them they won.
Man: But Presidente, America tried to kill you!
Castro: Ah, they’re not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco!
Man 2: (whispers in Castro’s ear)
Castro: It’s full of whaaaat?!?!

(One of Castro’s workers tells him some men with a trillion dollar bill are here to see him)

Mr. Burns: Oh, so the island’s not for sale, eh? Well, will you at least permit us to live in your socialist paradise?
Castro: You talking about Cuba?
Mr. Burns: All we ask for is preferential treatment because of my fabulous wealth.
Castro: May I see? (speaking of the trillion dollar bill)
Mr. Burns: Ho ho ho, see with your eyes, not with your hands!
Castro: Please, we are all amigos here!
Homer: Mr. Burns. I think we can trust the president of Cuba…
Mr. Burns: (hands it to Castro, and waits a couple of seconds) Now, give it back…
Castro: Give what back?
Mr. Burns: D’ohh…

(The three men are on a crudely made raft in the middle of the ocean headed back home)

Homer: It’s hard to believe there’s a place worse than America, but we found it!
Mr. Burns: Yes, I too feel renewed appreciation for the good old US of A. Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the land of the free.
Smithers: Sir, aren’t you facing some serious jail time?
Mr. Burns: Well, if it’s a crime to love one’s country, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that!
Homer: God bless America!

Now, with but a few subtle changes, let’s reprise that scene as it could go some 30 years after it was first aired.

Obama: Fellow socialists, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to abandon ship!
Democrats: (sighs)
Obama: I know, I know, I know…but we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn’t fly! I’ll call the Republicans and tell them they won.
Pelosi: But Mr. President, the Republicans will roll back our progressive agenda!
Obama: Ah, they’re not so bad. Some of them even voted for me back in 2008, and they probably would again if we hadn’t outlawed free elections.
Reid: (whispers in Obama’s ear)
Obama: The polls say whaaat?!?!

(One of Obama’s workers tells him that the leaders of America’s top three creditors have a trillion dollars and are here to see him)

China: Oh, so the country’s not for sale, eh? Well, will you at least permit us to further indebt your socialist boondoggle?
Obama: You talking about America?
Japan: Yes, all we ask is that you buy more of our cars.
Obama: May I borrow it? (speaking of the trillion dollars)
European Union: If you promise to continue the fight against climate change.
Obama: Please, why the conditions? We are all allies here!
China: Mr. Obama, I think you can meet our demands…you need the money. (Hands it to Obama, and waits a couple of seconds) Now, pay it back…
Obama: Pay it back?!?! I, I, I…can’t. I need it all to keep the ballooning costs of our socialized healthcare system under control!
China, Japan, and the EU: Hahahaha

(The three leaders stroll out of the White House)

European Union: I’d be hard-pressed to believe that there’s an economy out there worse than America’s right now.
China: Yes, I feel renewed appreciation for my home land after seeing how weak Obama is. Enduring the stigma of Communism is a small price to pay to be a wealthy world leader.
Japan: By enduring the stigma of Communism, do you mean to say that you are guilty of committing massive crimes against humanity?
China: Well, if it’s a crime to brutally oppress one’s citizens, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to lend a trillion dollars to the United States government and use the subsequent power to build an enormous military to further crush freedom, then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to completely obliterate America’s manufacturing industry as well as their economic prowess by continuing to entice them with cheap products that can only be made so cheaply because of blatant disregard for the welfare of one’s people, then so help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that!
European Union: Allah akbar!

Eh, I think I like the original version better. It doesn’t quite hit so close to home.