Finally, the October surprise we’ve been waiting for is upon us! In a shocking new development, the Republican presidential candidate, Senator John McCain, has decided to endorse Barack Obama…for president!

In a statement made yesterday, John McCain said, “Today I have decided to put my full support behind Barack Obama in his quest to be President of the United States of America. Some may question my decision by pointing to his obvious lack of credentials. However, as Colin Powell so eloquently noted, Barack is simply too transformative of a candidate to not support.”

Realizing that the straight talk express had veered off track for a moment, McCain quickly elaborated, stating bluntly, “I’m voting for him because he’s black, ok. What’s the big deal? Everybody else is doing it.”

When pressed on the rumors that he will replace Joe Biden as Obama’s running mate, McCain would not confirm or deny them. He did state, though, that “Joe Biden clearly is a bumbling moron who shouldn’t be in charge of anything.” He even dared anyone in the crowd to voice their disagreement with his analysis of Biden by simply raising their hand. There were no takers.

Needless to say, John McCain’s stunning announcement has sent shockwaves throughout the country, and all the major media outlets are weighing in:

“The Mac is Back!” declared the Washington Post.

“It’s About Freaking Time!” graced the front page of the New York Times.

“Johnny Maverick Does It Again!” the Los Angeles Times stated proudly.

“A Bold Strategy” said Blogging for Meatballs.

As expected also, the political pundits are salivating. Some though, surprisingly aren’t actually surprised.

“I think we all knew it was only a matter of time,” said Anderson Cooper of CNN calmly. “One can only resist Barack Obama but so long.”

Chris Matthews of MSNBC, although also not taken back, was less subdued.

“Obama in the White House! Republican leaders bowing to him! Liberals running wild! Ooooh my…my legs are shaking!” he screamed

For the record, Matthews did continue to yell loudly for some time, but his subsequent remarks were indistinguishable, as he was being swiftly carried away, along with colleague Keith Olbermann, for his daily cold shower and beating.

The press weren’t the only ones quick to comment on yesterday’s phenomenon. I’d be amiss if I didn’t mention the candidates’ reaction to the news.

Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden tried to steal the spotlight with a startling proclamation of his own.

“I’ve only got 4 words for ya. I am the real Joe the Plumber!” he declared. Luckily, no one was really paying attention.

Barack Obama, however, has yet to release an official statement, as his teleprompter is still being set up. He did mention briefly, though, that he “is pleased to have John on board.” He also alluded to the fact that he is looking forward to taking a few of John’s houses in order to give them to good, hard-working, middle-class Americans who had their homes taken from them by George Bush.

However, it wasn’t all peaches and cream at Obama headquarters. When a rabid, fascist, right-wing Fox News analysis was overheard joking, “now that McCain is on Obama’s side, it’s almost as if Obama voted with Bush 90% of the time,” Barack had to be restrained. On the other hand, it is widely agreed upon that things would have been much worse if Obama had McCain’s temper.

Some of the most interesting comments came from Governor Sarah Palin. Like many of her loyal followers in the mainstream media, she also was not stunned by John McCain’s decision.

“When John refused to bring up Jeremiah Wright and wouldn’t refer to Obama as the communist scum that he is, I began to speculate….and during the last debate when he proposed that we nationalize the housing market, I realized the inevitable,” said Palin.

Nevertheless, the Governor remains optimistic, stating her desire to keep running and even confidence in her chances. When asked how she planned to win when she wasn’t even on the ballot as a presidential candidate, she shot back quickly, “Well, I’m not worried about that. I mean, golly, Barack Obama isn’t even an American citizen, and he’s currently winning this race.”

We all agreed that was a gutsy statement, and one that was, quite frankly, racist.

We also all agreed that, going forward, racism is still the major unknown. John McCain’s decision to support his opponent obviously changes the dynamic of this election. Even so, according to recent data, McCain is currently polling in the neighborhood of 45%. Conservative estimates, then, would leave the number of blatantly racist Americans somewhere around 100 million…given that no other compelling reason to vote for McCain has yet been uncovered.

So, the question is: will these bigots suck it up, do the right thing, and pull the lever for the Obama – Biden McCain ticket on November 4th, or will they once again deny our European allies, our friends in the UN, and countless peaceful nations from across the globe their fundamental right to live side by side with an America led by a pandering, socialist weenie?

The jury is still out as to whether or not John McCain’s announcement will help accomplish this shared, worldwide dream, but in one thing there is no doubt…it’s a bold strategy.