Man, it’s been a good couple months for Barack Obama (that was heavy, heavy sarcasm). No seriously, the golden boy has been making political mistakes lately at nearly the same rate that Hillary Clinton has been lying. With work, family, and the NBA playoffs dominating my time, I can barely keep up.

It’s been said that a gaffe in politics is when a politician accidentally tells the truth. In Hillary’s case, I don’t know if she can even be faulted for her many “gaffes;” she has been fibbing at such a blistering pace for so long now, that I don’t think she can distinguish the difference between what’s true and false anymore. She’s like the political version of Paula Abdul judging Idol; she basically just has no idea what’s going on. Barack on the other hand, when it comes to his life, seems to know the truth; he just isn’t overly concerned with telling it. Like with Jeremiah Wright, for instance, Obama’s responses have had nothing whatsoever to do with honesty. His only thought process is “what do these crazy, gun-wielding, God and country lovin’ American freaks want to hear next? I already threw my white grandmother under the bus for them. Sheesh, I guess I’ll throw my spiritual mentor of 20 years…er, former pastor who I barely knew…under the bus too. Say hi to Grandma for me while you’re under there, Pastor Jeremiah…if your even a real pastor. What’s that Grandma, you and Pastor J. already met when he was officiating my wedding? Sssshhhh, Grandma. Typical white person, hating me cuz I’m black. You’re not going to hold me down, you old bag! Ok, where was I…oh yeah, I’ll tell America that I’m all of a sudden outraged by Wright’s comments. That’ll definitely work, assuming they’re all as naive and stupid as they are bitter, bloodthirsty, and hung up on religion. Peons.” So, assuming you are what Obama refers to as a person who clings to guns and religion (i.e. normal American), then you can obviously see the inherent flaws in Barack’s strategy of late…the strategy of lying for political gain. Just as Hillary looks when she lies (read: opens her mouth), Barack’s ridiculous flip-flopping on Jeremiah Wright makes him look completely incompetent (which he…brace yourself…is), and incompetence is never the dominant trait you want to portray in order to win the general election. The Democratic Primary is a different story, though, since to vote for a Democrat you would have had to already made your peace with mind-numbing incompetence (see: Pelosi, Nancy; and Reid, Harry), but that’s another topic.

Ok, so Obama’s disdain for the truth hurts him; for Obama supporters, that’s the bad news. Here’s the good news (sarcasm alert!!!). Barack has picked up, though admittedly subtly, another key endorsement. Along with Hamas, now Hugo Chavez is on board with the O-Train. Wow! That’s huge! These endorsements will undoubtedly carry Barack to the White House, because if there’s one thing I know it’s this: even more than being told how to vote by drugged up, cult-worshipping, insane celebrities, Americans love following the political lead of the ruthless dictators of the world. I’m still waiting for my WWHVF (Who Would Hamas Vote For) bracelet to come in. Sheesh, how long does it take to get something shipped from Palestine? Come on Ebay! Seriously though, if the endorsements of Europe’s’ socialist pansies worked for John Kerry, I can only envision the impact that Hamas and Chavez will have for Obama (I should point out that the sarcasm is still flowing at record levels just in case you’re really confused right now)! I mean, just imagine if Kim Jong Il joins the party, or Ahmadinejad, or even Bin Laden! Obamania would reach fever pitch levels! It’s just too bad that Saddam Hussein isn’t alive to see this, because you know he’d be Barack Obama’s #1 fan (I can see him now reaching his Obama foam finger out of the hole he’d still be hiding in). Not only would they share ideologies, but they even have the same name! Who does Hillary have on her side that both hates America and shares her name? Well, I guess there is Bill…but just because he ignored terrorists for 8 years doesn’t technically make him one too. Sigh. If you’re a Hillary Clinton supporter right now, you’re worried. With the vast majority of America’s enemies currently supporting Obama, Hillary might have to figure out how to lose the Iraq war single-handedly before July just to have a chance to trump Obama and secure the nomination for herself. I know that’s a tall order given the undeniable success of the surge, but she doesn’t really have a choice. Many of Barack’s supporters aren’t just against the war on terror, they’re actually terrorists themselves. I just don’t know how she can compete with that. The liberal, democratic voters know what they want, and they are a demanding bunch; they’ll accept nothing less than first-rate, honest, qualified officials to lead their party.

Oh, I almost forgot. You need to replace “first-rate, honest, qualified officials” with “two-bit, corrupt, worthless boobs” in that last sentence. Sorry about that. I’ll do a better job giving you a heads up next time I start writing in code. Now if only I could figure out how to write “Obama 08″ in Arabic. That would be the perfect ending to this blog…