Let me just get this out of the way right now in case the title above has already left your taste buds somewhat curious. I’m not about to introduce for Mickey D’s some kind of Chicken McNugget/Club Sandwich. Give it time people. Eventually we’ll probably all get to experience a dish, much like KFC’s famous bowls, comprised of all of our McDonald’s favorites mashed together for $4.99…and at only 2500 calories! I know, I know, you’re impressed by my knowledge of fast food menus.

Ok, seriously though. Let me get to it. Have you ever heard/seen an advertisement leaving you with no doubt that its creator is alarmingly out of touch with the rest of the world? Yeah, me too. Case in point: recently, I heard a radio ad for McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets. No big deal, right? Wrong, because at the end of the ad they encouraged us listeners to go online somewhere and sign up for a Chicken McNugget Fan Club of some sort. I don’t know where to begin here…like, is there a board room at McDonald’s headquarters where some marketing guy is pitching this idea and getting nods of approval all around? How is there not one person is that meeting nipping this in the bud? There’s nobody who would stand up and say, “holy crap guys, are we serious about this McNugget Fan Club thing? I thought we were all just having a good laugh…that’s all it is right? Guys? Am I on some kind of hidden camera show? Guys? Guys!!! Let’s not lose our heads here! McNugget Fan Club? Really? Oh, what the hay…go for it. I quit anyway.” You know what the craziest thing is, though? McDonald’s sales are up recently. Of course, maybe that has everything to do with the economy…or maybe I’m just an idiot.

Either way, I’m not mad about this at all, just baffled. Is there anyone on this planet who, after hearing a radio ad inviting them to sign up for a McNugget Club, would actually take the time when they get home to get online and register for it? I mean, really, I’m skeptical that there is but one person out there who wants to say to the world, “I love McDonalds Chicken McNuggets so freaking much that I’m going to join a chicken nugget fan club…and one that is purely volunteer and that doesn’t offer any prizes or rewards for doing so to boot.” That amount of love, for chicken nuggets, would be a little creepy. So, I’m having a hard time grasping this…and don’t get me wrong, I like McDonald’s. I’m not one of these people who pretends to be too good to like McDonald’s food (all while going there twice a week). I’m down with the Golden Arches (and the sickness…little Disturbed reference). However, if I ever get to the point where I’m signing up for fast food fan clubs, everyone reading this (all nine of you) have full permission (and I will work up a legal document stating this) to torture and maim me using creative and revolutionary techniques, and ultimately, to kill me until I’m dead upon immediate discovery of my fast food fan club registration. Deal? Cool.

That being said, all this talk has actually left me curious enough to check this thing out (I know, I’m living on the edge). So, I went to McDonald’s website and shortly thereafter found myself here. Hmmm…not seeing where to sign up, though I do see a Facebook group where people can share thoughts on their collective love for McNuggets. Very disturbing. Evidently there are some real McNugget freaks out there. In fact, there are currently over 1500 members of the Facebook group! Go figure. Apparently, not only am I an idiot, but I’m the one who is out of touch. This fan club was a brilliant marketing strategy by McDonald’s! I still don’t see where to sign up for it, though. Tell you what I’m going to do. Next time I go through the drive thru at McDonald’s, I will pose the following question to whoever hands me my food: “Hey, I tried to sign up for the McNugget Fan Club on the website, but I didn’t see where to register. Do you have some kind of literature I can take home or maybe a hard copy registration form that I could get? Also, do you know off hand if there’s going to be any local events in the near future?”

There’s no doubt that question would bring a smile to their face (once I drove away, of course)! It mostly likely would generate record levels of break room laughter for all the employees too, and given that most of the drive thru workers at McDonald’s appear to be one sneer away from shooting up the place, it may actually save some lives. Don’t thank me, though; thank those who pioneered the McNugget Club. They deserve the credit…the glory. I’m but a mere member of this hallowed society…well, not yet I guess. I still need to figure how out to register.

It just hit me. I’m finishing up a blog about a chicken nugget fan club. Of course, worse yet is the fact that I’m now actually trying to sign up for it.

You nine readers, you know what you have to do.